What the heck is up with white collar crime these days? I keep getting scamola e-mail like the following:
"Greetings to all of our AOL members!!!
Enter here:
Take advantage TODAY to receive FREE CASH AWARDS!!!
As always the staff at AOL appriciates and values our customers.
And as a special thanks, we would like to send to you, FREE offers, and cash certificates for using AOL!
Thankyou,
AOL STAFF"
Do you see what I see?
Of course you do. You're literate.
"Appriciates" ain't English.
Don't the bottomfeeding scumsuckers that troll through my e-mail inbox with such offers understand that if you use the word "appriciates" you're NOT PROPERLY BAITING THE HOOK on the deep sea scamfishing expedition? Any halfwit (including me) will immediately recognize that misspelling screams "red flag danger," and the further misuse of commas in the final sentence yells "Look out! An illiterate is trying to rip you off!"
And what am I to make of the following, which has disgraced my inbox with its rancid presence on an almost weekly basis over the last six months:
"AOL apologizes for this inconvenience and we do asure better and faster service for each and everyone of our members. As a result of this, the Staff at AOL is proud to announce that during our short update on your account, members who submit their information promptly will receive one month FREE of Internet Access!
Aol Staff"
Listen up, pally boy, if those ratbags at AOL actually wanted to "asure" better service for their members, they'd start by teaching their staff how to use a freakin' spell checker.
And what about the first clause of your second sentence? "As a result of this..." As a result of WHAT? As a result of their desire to better serve me, your imaginary AOL staff is going to reward me for promptly giving you "updated" information that undoubtedly will include my current credit card number by giving me a free month? Let's follow the logic: AOL supposedly can't bill me because they've lost my credit card number, so I have to hand it
over to YOU, and you'll give me a month, for free? Hey, blow me. Seems to me that if AOL really COULDN'T bill me now, I'd be a damned fool to help them start collecting money, not to mention that the clause there has nothing to do with any desire to "asure" anything for anyone. Go climb up your thumb, buster.
Nope, let's face it, kids: white collar crime just sucks eggs these days.
There's no quality work being done anymore! By the bones of St. Theresa, when your pal DRaftervoi forged a document, you could cross international borders with it.
Юå±êrvØ¡: Evil is an art form