May 18, 2001
Empty In Box

A strange and lovely calm has descended over *FootNotes* Land, the past couple of days.

It's Friday as I write this  ...  a hazy, sleepy, overly-warm East Bay afternoon  ... and for the first time in months, the *In Box* of my weekend is completely empty.

No miles-long 'To Do' lists. No out-of-town visitors. No appointments or lunch dates or family obligations.

(And -- best of all -- NO wedding-dress-shopping.)

For the first time in months there is absolutely nothing on my calendar that I *have* to do this weekend. This is not to be confused with things I *should* do (e-mail, laundry, bike-riding, exfoliation) ... or things I *probably will* do (visiting the fabric store for Offray Ribbon #69) ... or things I *will do, if somebody pays me a bazillion dollars and/or buys me lunch at the taqueria* (housecleaning). There is always plenty of that sort of stuff to go around.

But if I were to decide to curl up on the sofa, instead, with a pile of library books and a six-pack of A&W Diet Cream Soda, that would be OK too.

Like I said, it's a strange and lovely feeling. It's also, to tell you the truth, a little weird. I've been dialed all the way up to 'frantic' for so long that I'd sorta forgotten how to operate in any other gear. I imagine that this is a precursor to the way I'll be feeling in August, when all of the wedding hoopla and hullabaloo is over. In fact, I suspect that when the Big Day has come and gone, I am going to experience a major sense of post-wedding letdown. What will I obsess about then?

(But we'll cross that *Boo Hoo Moment* when we come to it.)

I fully expect this to be temporary, of course ... this sense of strange/lovely/aimless calm. There is new weirdness going on at work, for one thing: another big stoopid behind-the-scenes war, involving my boss and the other managerial Testosterone Units. (I only know as much as I can glean from eavesdropping  -- and ladies' room gossip -- but apparently my new boss is making noise now about quitting the Totem Pole Company. And if he goes, I go.) Then there's Daughter #2 and the high school graduation that may or may not happen next month ... other TicTac-related family stuff that's got me poised with my ear to the ground/my hand on the telephone/my other hand on the checkbook (I was one helluva Twister player in my day) ... plus the usual ongoing concerns about bills and budgets and bank accounts. And starting next weekend, when the wedding invitations go out, marking the official beginning of *Wedding Insanity 2001,* life cranks right back up to high gear ... and stays there, probably, for the next two months.

So I'd better enjoy this temporary lull while it lasts, because it's probably going to be another 63 days, 20 hours, 44 minutes and 55 seconds before I'm feeling this way again.

Have a strange and lovely weekend, everybody!

p.s. last call for invites. if i experience even a fraction of a fraction of a *motivation molecule* this weekend ... i might finish addressing them.

p.p.s. special *howdy* to my new pal, bitter hag ... who wrote essentially the same journal entry today that *i* did.

p.p.p.s. i'm doing the *annoying* and *gimmicky* gratuitous *asterisk thing* too much again, aren't *i* ... ? *slap* me every time you catch me doing it from now on. slap me *hard.* i *mean* it.

*ow!* *ow!* *ow!*

one year ago: dibs on the window

throw a rock