I've been taking the St. John's Wort for almost two whole months now ... and I must admit that I'm somewhat ridiculously proud of myself. Usually by this point in the *self-improvement regime* I'm back to hiding bags of M&M's in my bottom desk drawer/falling asleep in full Maybelline/reading "People" instead of "PC Week."
So I'm pleased with myself for sticking with it this time.
I've switched brands -- from the pricier, available-only-on-the-Internet stuff, to the slightly-less-groovy but cheaper store label -- but other than that I haven't altered the routine any. I'm still taking all 900 mg. at night, about an hour before bedtime. [Although for a while I was experimenting with spreading the dosage throughout the day ... one capsule in the morning, one at lunchtime, one at night. But when I started nodding off during "Entertainment Tonight," I went right back to the just-before-bedtime dosage.] And I haven't missed a single day.
I swear I can feel a difference.
Nothing radical, mind you. I'm not walking around humming "Tomorrow" and passing out lollipops. It's more like ... I suddenly have this new, enhanced ability to cope with daily nonsense. Like somebody is standing behind me, giving my big adorable butt a gentle *boost* over the emotional hurdles of life. It's nice.
For instance, I honestly believe that the SJW helped keep me *level* during the last trip to TicTac. It didn't do much to quell my fears about flying -- the only thing that helped with that, really, was LANDING without bursting into FLAMES -- but once I got there, it helped me stay reasonably calm in the face of unspeakable torment. [A fashion show in my mother's living room. A Mary Kay makeover. Going to the mall. Shopping for clothes for my seventeen year old. Singing 'The Star Spangled Banner' at a Rainbows Installation Ceremony.]
It helped when I came home from the trip to TicTac, too. Franz may have signed off on my three-day vacation request without complaint ... but that doesn't mean he didn't look for little ways to *punish* me for taking the time off, once I got back. [Surprise! They've fired my pal Joan. Surprise! My *In* Box looks like a recycling bin exploded. Surprise! My computer is gone.] Without the little cushion of stability I get from the SJW, those first couple of days back in the office would have been ten times the hell. I know it.
And it continues to help me deal with the little unexpected dropkicks life has to offer me, each and every day.
[Tune in tomorrow to hear about the untimely death of the Happy Panda Face Toaster ... ]
