June 29, 1998
Fan Envy

 
I would kill for a fan tonight.

An ELECTRIC fan, I mean.

Make no mistake here: I would kill. If my downstairs neighbor came home right now  --  the little unassuming nerdy guy who always smells like Jeno's Pizza Rolls and cigarettes  -- and he was carrying a brand-new Duracraft Five-Speed Oscillator under one arm  --  I guarantee you his picture would be on a milk carton somewhere in Boring, Oregon next week.

I hate summer. Grrrr.

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