June 18, 2002
Never Late Than Better

miles to go: 1,285.39

I'm never "late."

Sometimes I'm "tardy" or "detained" or ever-so-slightly "un-punctual." 

Sometimes illness or emotional upheaval can set me back ... although usually it's only by a day or two, at the very most. 

Sometimes I miscalculate, and what at first appears to be a delay (or -- at the other end of the spectrum -- an unwelcome jumpstart) is actually crappy arithmetic on my part. Sometimes stress -- new job, new Zip Code, new in-laws -- can hold things up a bit. Sometimes intense joy can do the same thing. Dysfunctional behavior can really mess things up.  During my heavy-drinking phases, like that final prolonged bender (otherwise known as "The Summer of 1998"),  I would just sort of skip the whole thing entirely. At other times in my life, I've been known to 'skip the whole thing entirely' for nine months at a stretch ... give or take the occasional false alarm.

But I'm never LATE. Not even now. Not even tonight, as I sit here and glare at the calendar, wondering if I'm going crazy, or whether I need to just pour myself a nice frosty cold mug of Ragu Spaghetti Sauce and Hershey's Syrup and be done with it.

Technically, eleven days isn't considered "late." Is it?

Stay tuned.

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~ nil bastardum carborundum ~

i don't REALLY think so.
i just want to see how long it takes for me
to hear from my MOM.