OK: now you know why I never posted any TicTac Christmas
photos last December.
what kills me: I didn't know I looked this bad until I saw the
developed Christmas photos. I knew I'd "put on few pounds" here and
there:"relationship pounds," I called them, figuring they came with the
territory when you're in a secure, loving relationship. I knew that my
clothes weren't fitting me comfortably any more ... and that I seemed
to be moving inexorably into that No-Woman's-Land known as the "Womens
Department" (where all of the sizes have a letter "X" or "W" after the
number, and all of the waistbands are elastic). I knew that I was
eating even when I wasn't hungry, and that I was eating
inappropriately, and that I was eating too fudking MUCH of EVERYTHING.
the only "exercise" I was getting was pushing the shopping cart up and
down the bakery aisle.)
I honestly didn't know I looked like *this* until my mother sent me the
Christmas pictures. I was so depressed that I stuck the pictures away
in my desk drawer and haven't even looked at them again until today.
Here's me this morning. David
took this photo over at the abandoned Alameda Navy Base -- that's the
USS Hornet in the background -- just as we were completing a 17 mile
(My longest and most ambitious ride to date, and I wasn't even winded.)
I'm not going to refer to these as "Before" and
"After" pictures ... because they're not. They're "Before" and "DURING"
pictures. I still have a long way to go. This is an ongoing process.
And even so, this isn't simply about losing X-number of pounds for the
wedding: this is about changing everything about my lifestyle. This is
about feeling better and living longer and having more energy and
actually getting out there and living life, instead of sitting around
in front of a computer writing
about living life.
But if I happen to look a little less like the
side of a barn, along the way ... that's a bonus.