June 3, 2000
Bed-Picnic Bruschetta


DRaftervoi & Secra's *Bed-Picnic Bruschetta*

2-3 medium sized tomatoes, chopped into teeny tiny chunks
Half a bunch of green onions, sliced
2-3 gloves of garlic the size of David's fist, peeled and crushed
Fresh basil, chopped
Dollop of balsamic vinegar
Squirt of olive oil
Feta cheese
Salt & pepper to taste
Loaf of slightly stale french bread, sliced into rounds

Throw the slightly stale rounds of french bread into a 300° oven for a few minutes, just until the bread finishes drying out and the rounds become hard and crunchy.

Meanwhile, dump tomato chunks, green onions, crushed garlic, basil, vinegar, olive oil and salt & pepper into large pink Corningware bowl. Mix very well and cover. Let stand for the first half hour of "Cops."

Arrange toast rounds on plate.

Unplug the phone, turn off the computer, close the curtains and make sure the front door is locked. Carry the plate, along with the bowl of Bruschetta mix, some chunks of Feta cheese, two spoons, two tablecloth-size cloth napkins, a laptop computer, a couple of Extra-Strength Pamprin, a bottle of Kwencher Orange Creme-Sicle Water, a Rickenbacker 480 and an armload of library books, guitar magazines and new CDs (purchased earlier that day at Amoeba Records in Berkeley) to the bedroom.

Remove all unnecessary clothing items. (Read this: anything containing elastic, buttons, snaps and/or fabric.)

Spread out on top of the bed. Drizzle olive oil and smoosh Feta cheese onto toast round; heap a giant spoonful of Bruschetta mixture on top. 

Eat. Dribble. Enjoy.


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