Greatest Hits

* walking across plasma fire *
the things we would do for love

* necessary spinning *
i knew, right away, that the way *i* drank
and the way normal people drank was different.

* lessons in bike-riding *
proving that it truly IS just like riding a bike

* i do, i do, i do, i do, i do *
and HE said this 'wasn't a romance'

* mr. gallagher says *
reflections on a daughter's high school graduation

* give me a ring *
in which two years' worth of wishing, praying, 'subtle hints' and subliminal mind control techniques finally pay off

* secraterri vers. 5.0 *
celebrating a cyber birthday

* continuous bruising *
sometimes the answer is as simple as shutting the drawer.

* think you've got what it takes to be an executive ass? *
a *footnotes* quiz!

* the backpack *
will our hero make it to the airport in time?

* ten commandments for getting along with the executive ass *
[so she doesn't have to kick YOURS]

* 10 worst songs of all time! *
and no, 'afternoon delight' isn't on the list .. although Dan Hill IS.

* how to control your toddler boss *
[when he is unable control himself]

* anniversaries from hell *
whut's the deal with august 29th, anyway?

* lies the bottle told me *
the scariest journal entry i ever posted

* my vitamin collection * the singularly most embarrassing moment of my childhood

* birthday wisdom *
ten semi-useful things i wish *i'd* known on my 19th birthday
[even though they wouldn't have done me a bit of good because i ALREADY knew everything ANYWAY]

* mom's 10 commandments of summer * an actual e-mail written to actual tots during the actual summer of '96

* cyber evolution *
it happens more slowly for some of us

* happy little killer dolls *
even chatty cathy had it in for me ... i swear to god

* coffee *
give me coffee right now or i will kill you totally dead i mean it

* you've been idle *
accept no substitutes.

* first haircut *
a mother never forgets her son's first haircut. even if she tries.

* the science fair *
a tale of flowers, solar systems and sibling rivalry

* things that go *ping* in the night *
technology isn't everything

* night of the prairie squid * a trashy, twisted summer potboiler written by [slightly demented] committee

* cyber crayons * proudly coloring outside the lines since 1957!

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