February 2, 2001
Keeping It In The Family


My brother-in-law Tim wants to marry me, and I've said "Yes."

My sister is fine with the idea as long as we do it at her house ... and as long as we invite the rest of the family over to watch. David is OK with it, too, although he plans to check into all of the legalities beforehand.

It won't be the first wedding for either Tim or me. But it'll still be pretty special, I think.

And before Cranky Denver Lady sprains something rushing to her phone ("Hello? Jerry Springer?!"), yes, of course I mean that my brother-in-law has offered to officiate at our wedding this summer,  and that we have happily accepted. Tim made the offer initially at Christmas, when I was up in TicTac for the holidays. I wanted to say 'yes' right there on the spot -- what could be lovelier and more appropriate than having a member of the family officiate at the happiest occasion of our lives? -- but I felt that this was one of those decisions that David and I should rightfully make together.

So I waited until I got home to California, and David and I had a chance to sit down and discuss the idea in our usual careful, measured, equally-partnered fashion ...

Secra: "Tim's gonna marry us, OK?"
Ю僱êrvØ¡: "OK."

... and that was it. One decision down: 43,897,621 decisions left to go.

This wedding's gonna be a piece of (vanilla? buttercream? lemon? fudge marble? coconut? pistachio? strawberry? peach? chocolate? carrot? pineapple-upside-down?) cake ... I just know it.

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Actually, we have made a few of the bigger wedding-related decisions already.

We have a date, for one thing: July 21st. There is no particular significance to the date: I just sort of pulled it out of the hat a couple of weeks back, when I was signing up for one of those online-wedding-planner websites and I was required to supply them with a specific date in order to register. Later, when I had a chance to study the calendar a little more carefully, I realized that it was actually a pretty good choice: far enough in the future to give us time to plan something special ... not so far-off that I would lose my mind between now and then.

(Plus it's a full month after Daughter #2's high school graduation. One formal occasion requiring gowns, corsages and airline peanuts per month is plenty, thankyouverymuch.)

The other key decision we've made is location. This was a tough one, for reasons that any engaged couple with roots in two different states will understand. I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest. That's where the Tots (and the rest of my family and friends) still live. David's roots/family/friends, of course, are here in the Bay Area. Either way, one of us was going to have to fly children and assorted other family members 1,200 miles, roundtrip ... and either way, one of us was going to have relatives who could not make the trip and who would probably miss the ceremony. I was just beginning to agonize over the decision  --  I was seriously thinking road trip/Las Vegas wedding chapel  --  when David suggested the following: Have the wedding in Seattle, followed by a reception in California after we get home from the honeymoon.

Genius. Sheer genius. Is it any wonder I'm heels over head in love with this man??

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Of course there are still a bazillion and eleven other decisions to make, big and small, between now and The Big Day.

I've had a lot of time on my hands this past week ... in between court TV shows and long, drooling, heavily-medicated naps ... and it's given me a chance to begin obsessing in earnest over some of the more mundane details.

  • Do we walk down the aisle to Symphony No. 9 in E Minor From "The New World" ... or to "Tubthumping?"

  • Should we serve Bed Picnic Bruschetta as an appetizer or as an entree?

  • Is *FootNotes Green* an acceptable accent color? Along with Vanilla and Dusty Rose?

  • Will my daughters allow me to dress them in matching co-maid-of-honor dresses? (Like I did when they were in grade school and I made them both wear those dorky little blue dresses with the Peter Pan collars for their class pictures?)

    Matching dresses

  • Whut the fudk is 'groom's cake,' anyway?

  • Do we get married outdoors, when my sister's flower garden is in full bloom ... or (the secret dream of my young-Secra-heart) indoors, by candlelight? And yes I know: one is an allergy attack waiting to happen, the other is a fire hazard with *my* name written all over it. We'd take the necessary precautions, either way.

  • Instead of dancing, after the ceremony, can't we all just sorta lay around on the sofa and watch HBO?

  • Yes, you "have to wear a wedding ring again." Live with it.

  • What are the Kanji characters for 'couple holding feet in bed?' And would they look OK on the wedding invitations?

  • It IS possible to drop seven dress sizes in twenty-four weeks ... right?

  • Tell me again: why are we supposed to smash wedding cake into each other's face?

  • Honeymooncam: good idea? bad idea?

  • Do you think J.P. Patches would come to the wedding if I invited him?

  • Do I have to wear a wedding dress? Can't I just wear my faux leopard skin leggings? (And if I do have to wear a wedding dress, do I have to try it on first? Or can I wear it, right out of the bag?)

I must confess that I haven't actually arrived at a lot of decisions about any of this other stuff, just yet. I figure I still have plenty of time to postpone it all until the very last second. Besides: just deciding on the when and the where -- and the who -- of the ceremony is making big progress, I think.

We'll make the rest of it up as we go along.

two years ago: my new best friend
[i get hired at the totem pole company]

throw a rock