One of the great advantages of working for a major metropolitan newspaper is that you get to read reams of bad writing. Conspiracy theorists, angry taxpayers, survivalist End-of-The-Civilized-World diatribes; it's just like the Internet, only we get ink on our hands. I was sitting around mulling the state of the world with my pal, Clark Kent, ("What's up with the cape, dude? Doesn't the
cloth make a noise like a flag snapping in a gale wind when you fly? That would drive me nuts.") when this little rant ejected from the fax machine:
"The State of California should legalize animal Cockfighting. The reason should be that the California State Athletic Commission is legalizing Human Cockfighting in sixty to ninety days. Governor Gray Davis Bill Lockyear, has approved this and Consumer Affairs.If human Cockfighting is allowed, then so shouls animal Cockfighting be allowed.
Here we have a State where a seatbelt is required if you drive a care and helmet if you ride a bicycle or motorcycle but if two human beings go into a cage and pound each others heads in and tax revenue can be obtained then this is legal. More BLOODMONEY for the State of California.
The State could also tax animal Cockfights in the same manner. They could tax the trainers, the referees; also the cutmen for the Cocks. This will also bring great tax money or BLOODMONEY for Governor Gray Davis and Consumer Affairs.Write your congressman to get this approved. It should go through because Human Cockfighting is going to be allowed."
And no, I didn't write it, and send it to myself, smartass.
However, I've always got my kayak ready to plunge into the waves when the rising tide of changing public opinion comes ashore, so I'm off to the printer's to get my LEGALIZE HUMAN COCKFIGHTING bumperstickers printed up and ready for sale. Payment will be by cashier's check only, no personal checks accepted.
Юåf±êrvÕ¡: The 43,152nd hardest working man in show business