August 6, 2001
Secra's Honeymoon Theory!


Question: How can you tell if the honeymoon was a success?newlywed secra on her honeymoon in port townsend, wa

Answer:  When there are very few photos taken of the newlyweds together.

Seriously! Think about it for a minute. If there are lots and lots of pictures of the happy honeymoon couple together -- strolling along the streets of Port Townsend, wandering around the Whale-Bone Corset Museum, grinning foolishly into the camera at The Hotel Belmont while they wait for their Portabello Mushrooms -- it probably means that they were spending way too much time in public, handing over their camera to waitresses/store clerks/total strangers on the street ("Would you mind taking our picture?") ...

... and not nearly enough time naked in the hotel room, feeding quarters into the Magic Fingers machine.

(Or else it means that they wasted valuable honeymoon time fiddling around with tripods and timers and other fancy-pants camera equipment, when they could have been sitting in the jacuzzi, eating Tim's Cascade Potato Chips and watching "Malcolm in the Middle.")

he didn't comb his hair once the entire week

If, on the other hand, there are only a handful of 'single-subject' photos here and there -- the new bride squinting from behind an anonymous brick wall, for instance (on her way to the Antiques Mall to buy that silver cuff bracelet she saw yesterday), or the handsome new husband, in tie-dye and denim, standing in front of The Otter Crossing Cafe (where they make the world's most incredible Breakfast Scramble, except that here they call it "Shipwreck Hash") -- then you know that the honeymoon couple probably spent the first few days of their marriage focusing on the important stuff.

Like sleeping late. And talking. And walking around looking at interesting stuff. And laughing a lot. And eating Shipwreck Hash.

And focusing on each other.

That's MY theory, anyway.

and - ok - like using the laptop to check in with the cyber audience, occasionally

Following this logic -- the "logic" that says The fewer couple photos/the happier the honeymoon -- one would have to say that our honeymoon was a spectacular success. We have exactly one honeymoon photo of the two of us together -- the restaurant photo I posted on Friday, taken by a pleasant and accomodating waitress at the Otter Crossing Cafe -- and it's a sweet picture that I'll treasure always. But other than that, the "us" section of the honeymoon photo album is empty.

As a matter of fact, the entire honeymoon album is going to be pretty darned skimpy.

What can I tell you? Taking pictures wasn't a priority for either one of us. We'd been in Port Townsend for a couple of days before I even remembered to pull the camera out of the bottom of the suitcase and started pointing it at stuff. (Or handing the camera to David and requesting that he point it at me.) And even then, we didn't take pictures of anything particularly scenic ... at least, not "scenic" in the traditional sense of the word. What was the point? We knew that if we wanted to see a photo of scenic downtown Port Townsend, or scenic Hood Canal, or the scenic Olympic Peninsula ... or the scenic (and incredibly stinky) paper mill on the edge of town ... all we'd have to do is look at the postcards we brought home with us.

(Or log onto the Port Townsend website.)

So I mostly took pictures of things *I* wanted to remember. Our hotel. Our hotel room. The bed in our hotel room. The view from the bed in our hotel room. David walking/sitting/laying on the bed in our hotel room. (There is one spectactularly uninspired shot of David sitting at the breakfast counter, taken from outside the open front door of our hotel room. You can't even see David, really -- he's camouflaged in shadow -- but I took it because I wanted a picture of the numbers on our hotel room door.)

the port townsend post office

On the other hand, David -- the more skilled *photographer* of the two of us -- managed to snap a couple of website-worthy honeymoon photos, including the one (above) of me standing in front of the Port Townsend Post Office, and the picture of Melancholy Secra at the outdoor cafe. He actually cares about things like light and camera angle and composition, whereas I usually just grab the Kodak and point it in the general direction of the subject, hoping for art. (See below.)

mr. studly

I don't know. Maybe someday I'll be kicking myself for not having a more complete photographic record of our honeymoon. Maybe someday I'll be leafing through our special photo album -- looking at the 3,897,621 photos from the wedding vs. the 16 photos of the honeymoon -- and I'll think Why in the world didn't we take more pictures in Port Townsend??

But I don't think so.

For one thing, it's not going to take an album full of photos for me to remember the highlights of our honeymoon. Driving around the Olympic Peninsula, listening to The Floyd Dakil Combo. Browsing through used bookstores. Ice cream sodas in the afternoon. Walking along the Port Townsend pier. Eating deli corned beef in bed. Looking for *lucky rocks* on the beach. Street corner violinists. Old Victorian homes. Hotel shampoo. Cable TV. Ravioli in browned butter sauce. Long afternoon naps. Potato chips in the jacuzzi.

These are the kind of memories that don't require documentation.

yep! here it is! the infamous *jacuzzi photo*

And for another thing, it sort of proves Secra's Honeymoon Theory ... doesn't it?

two years ago: lifestyles of dave & terri

throw a rock