August 1, 2006
Originally posted on the Breast
Health Online forum
I went bra-shopping at Mervyn's
ordered some size-nonspecific "leisure" bras online (front-close/no
underwires/stretchy/comfy/ virulently-unsexy/strictly-business), to wear
in the days and weeks following the
surgery, but I was worried that they might not arrive in time.
So I figured I should buy at least one "offline bra" to have
on hand, just in case. And of course
Mervyn's had absolutely nothing even close to what I needed.
They never do, but when you've only got one department store
town (and you're feeling too lazy to leave the island), it's Mervyn's
I circled the bra department a dozen times, but
the "full figure" bras all closed in the back -- that's a
violation of doctor's orders -- and the "sports
were tiny little one-piece affairs, barely more than a rubber band
around the chest.
no sales clerks upon whom I could throw myself (and my credit card).
Ordinarily they're more prolific -- and only slightly less
welcome -- than a swarm of rabid mosquitos, but on Saturday they were
nowhere in evidence.
the usual gaggle of snarky twentysomethings and toney island matrons,
looking down their noses at me, in my bulging T-shirt, like I was some
sort of freak.
of this would have been enough to send me out of the store in tears. As a matter of fact it has sent me out of the store in tears, more than
once. Bra shopping has always been a major source of trauma. But this time I just found the whole thing amusing, in a
happy/sad/bittersweet/fudk-you! sort of way. After my surgery, Mervyn's bra department is probably never again going to
reduce me to an embarrassing public *BooHoo Moment.*
just turned around and walked out of the store without buying anything
at all. Ironically, just as I was walking out the door, some
fortysomething dude in a cowboy hat looked at my chest and said
AND when I got
home, one of my online bras was waiting for me in the mailbox.
there you go.
to throw a rock?