The Project From Hell
done. It's over. I'm free.
Project From Hell -- all 43,897,621 pages and
project-expensible hours of it -- is finally behind me, once and for
all. This morning, I typed the very last line of information into the
hated Excel spreadsheet -- Contoured
cross-section -- and exultantly
hit 'Save.' I let out a
little *whoop* of triumph as I closed the last worksheet.
("Ghesundheit," said The Main Marketing Guy as he was passing by the
front desk.) Just to be on the safe side, I saved the spreadsheet to
three different locations: one
copy on my computer's hard drive, one copy to a Zip disk and one copy
of the whole thing to the company swap file. Then I scooped up the last
two encyclopedic binders from the middle of my desk and lugged them
down the hall to The Main Nerdy Geotech Guy's office, where I dumped
them onto the pile in the middle of his floor. Finally, I sent the
index to the printer -- when printed out, the spreadsheet becomes a
document the size of an East Bay phone book -- and I left a copy of the
print-out on top of the mountain of binders, along with a Post-It note
attached to the front cover.
you go! says the Post-It note. Glad
to be of help!
don't mean a word of it, of course. If The Main Nerdy Geotech Guy EVER
comes at me with a project this ridiculous again, I'm going to hurt
him. I'm going to hurt him bad. But I think he knows that
I was all done, I came back to my desk and just sat here for a couple
of minutes, revelling in the inactivity ... luxuriating in my clean
bare desktop ... reacquainting myself with old friends I haven't paid
attention to in over a month. (Hello,
Daily Dilbert! What's new, Symboline?
Howya doing, Office Supply Catalog! Did you all miss me??)
I spent the
remainder of the morning puttering around the front desk, catching up
on all the little jobs that have fallen by the wayside in the month
since The Project From Hell took over my work life: organizing the
supply closet, making file folder labels, updating phone lists,
refilling the candy dish. Once or twice, I actually caught myself
humming. It reminded me of the day after Christmas: that same sweet
sense of delicious relief washing over me, now that all the noise and
fuss and sweat are over with. I know that this is a temporary calm --
it's only a matter of time before The MNGG shows up in front of my desk
with some new ridiculous Project From Hell -- a thousand microbial
contamination workshop booklets that need binding, an accelerated blast
valve report that needs translating from Japanese to English, a couple
of steelhead that need gutting -- but that's OK. For just this one
blissful morning, I'm remembering what it's like to enjoy my job, and
to be in charge of my own time and activity level ...
and to bask in the feeling of a hideously difficult job well-done.
want to throw