JOURNAL NO. 2
May 1972 - September 1972
Age 14

"This has been the best summer of my life, and I'll cry when it's over."

(Note scribbled at the top of the journal page, in my Dad's handwriting: "This is the beginning of Nothing!")

May 24, 1972

Well, what do you know ... here we are again!   A brand new ledger  --  54 whole pages to fill.  It gives me a good feeling. I don't know how long this one will last   ...  I go through a smallish notebook like this one in seconds flat. This one might last until camp this summer (July 9-21) and maybe, just possibly until school starts next fall, if I scrimp. But the main purpose of this ledger is for "no restrictions, free & easy writing and scribbling."

What happened today ... first period (Spanish) took notes on Mexican history. Seconds period (P.E.) we played baseball. Third period (English) read "Julius Caesar." Fourth period (math) listened to dull, dull math. Fifth period (American history) got into groups (I'm in a terrible one  -- Joanne W., Penny N. and Sherry Y.).  Sixth period (Home Ec) we had dress rehearsal for our fashion show.

I had my squirt gun taken away!!! (sob, sob)

Sandy & I walked to the library, we passed by Brian's house. He was out in his front yard with Kenny, Brad and Jim, but they ignored me.

Penny -n- Ken R. (or Thaddeus)
Lori N. -n- Scott S.
Rick -n- Kathy
Terri -n- Brian
Sandy -n- John 

May 25, 1972
Thursday

Wow, what a beautiful day ... I felt just terrific, despite having a painful "party." (Top-secret *girl code* for cramps.)  The best part of my day is 1:00, right between 4th & 5th period, when I just goof around with all the guys. They were all squirting me with their squirt guns, and putting their arms around me (kidding-like), etc. There's this real cute one, Steve Panasuk, that's been hanging around a lot.

We had our fashion show today in Home Ec. It went pretty well. 

May 26, 1972
Friday

Grandma had more heart trouble today and she's in the hospital again ... God, why???

Besides that, this day wasn't too bad.  We had a super-hard, super-long test in first period on Spanish history, played work-up in P.E. (I'm on Angie's team). Third, we read more J.C. and did these worksheets. At my favorite time of the day, Scott Shearer was putting his arm around me, pretending to trap me in the classroom. Steve talked to me some more, squirted me with his squirt gun. 

May 28, 1972

After Grandma's second heart attack, my brother and I were sent to live with our father.

I just can't believe it ... tomorrow, Dick and I, after living in this beloved house with our grandparents for ten years, are leaving for good. It's inevitable  -  I've always known that  -  but I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon. I'm really torn up inside ... I'm leaving an old, old friend, the place of my childhood, and starting a new, strange way of life, living with Dad. 

I'm scared, Ledger ...

It's for Grandma's good, I know and realize that, but even that fact can't soften the blow any. It still hurts, and it's going to continue to hurt until we finally settle down. Oh, I can't stop crying ...

Packing to move out of my childhood home
Spring 1972

May 29, 1972

I have about 3-4 hours left in this house.  I just know I'm going to make a scene, but I can't help it. Every song they play on the radio seems so heart-breakingly sad. I don't want to go ... I just can't say goodbye. SO SAD! 

After going to live with Dad  ... 

May 30, 1972
Tuesday 8:00 p.m.

Well, it isn't too bad (living with Dad), although I am immensely homesick. I keep thinking I can turn around and go back ... I can't, I can't.

We found a beautiful house (10th & 129th). We may or may not get it.

Songs I like:  "Sweet Mary" by Wadsworth Mansion, "Rain Dance"  by The Guess Who, "She Didn't Do Magic"  by Lobo 

For the first couple of weeks we lived in Dad's cramped little bachelor pad in Rainier Valley.

June 2, 1972
Friday 9:07 p.m.

Things are working out pretty well (living with Dad)  ... life's a whole new bag!  Although this apartment living isn't all that great (cramped quarters and stuff), I can foresee a lot of changes in my lifestyle for the good! 

We've found a new house ... a beautiful, green, three bedroom, one level house that I LOVE already! 13652 18th South   --  SOOO close to our school, and just  a few blocks from my friend Sandy.  Hurrah!  No boring, lonely summer days ...  we're moving in this weekend.  Other things:

A. I've got my own BIG bedroom.

B. I can get my ears pierced. HURRAY!!!!!!!!

C.  Dad doesn't care how many parties (slumber, boy-girl) we go to or have ("They're fine, they're good for you," etc.), how many friends we have over, or anything about our social life. I've been a little timid about broaching the dating question, but I wouldn't be surprised if that were soon on the agenda.

Bob M. asked me to come to his party tonight  -- after talking to him, I got the definite impression that he was planning on "pairing up" with me. SICK!!  Oh, grossest of all gross thoughts!

Darn it! I like Tom again! I WISH I WOULD MAKE UP MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was voted 9th grade boy with "the Prettiest Teeth." (oh my gosh)

Terri -n- Tom

13652 18th Avenue South, Seattle. 
(Dad and I called it "The Smith House," in honor
of the landlord who later evicted us.) 
I spent the happiest summer of my life in this house.

June 4, 1972

(Series of anonymous notes) written on my desk in Spanish class:

"Who does Terri Vert like?"
"Who wants to know?"
"Matt Videen. Who's this?"
"Penny Nicholes.  Why do you want to know?"
"For the hell of it."
"She likes Tom Whidden."
"Does he like her?"
"I doubt it."

This was a good day. I spent the night with Sandy last night,  then we went to her church this morning. Then Karen, Kathy Nelson & me went swimming at Evergreen pool (again). Greg Nelson & Frank Clenny were there, and they kind of hung around us. Karen came over for dinner and to stay overnight (so did my brother's friends, the Joseph brothers). At night, we were goofing around in the park and Greg & Frank showed up out of nowhere.  They were giving us motorcycle rides.  Karen likes Frank (so do I, a little). 

June 5, 1972 'bout 8:00 p.m.

(A couple of weeks after I wrote this journal entry, I went back & made a lot of snarky comments about it, which I've transcribed here in italics.)

Oh brother ... do I ever have a super big hurkin' crush on Tom ... (how sickening) ... with only 4 days of school left. (Oh, sob! sob!)  Ouch. "You don't know you've had it till it's gone." True, true. (How terrible) He'll go off to Highline next year (thank goodness), probably meet some other girl (who cares? poor girl), they'll fall madly, passionately in love with each other, and he'll completely forget me. What a horrible thought (oh dear), but it'll probably prove to be true. I love him. (indecipherable cloud of ink scribbling) (Go ahead, future, write some cute little smart reply to that one. (OK, I will!) I really do. (Do you really?) Well. First of all, Regina talked to him today. Sus conversacion:

R:  "Hey Tom."
T:  "Yeah?" (Intelligent, oh so intelligent)
R:  "Terri likes you again."
T:  "No foolin'?" (No, you idiot, she's fooling you.)
R:  "Nope."
T:  "No kiddin'?" (Oh brother ...)
R:  "Nope."
T:  "Hmmmm." (Great reply)
R:  "Do you like her?"
T:  "I don't know." (Boy, you tell her)
R:  "C'mon, do you?"
T:  "Yah, I get so, but I'm tired of always breaking up with her."

He also said something about how he wasn't going to tell me (that he likes me). Why? Amy talked to him too, wrote him a note. 

June 6, 1972

Boy, do I like Tom.

Today's conversation was between him and Penny. It was before History. I waited inside the room before class (hiding) while Penny waited for him to come.

P:  "Tom, stay here a minute." (He kept walking)
P:  "Tom, I've got to TALK to you. (He finally stopped) "Tom you've got to talk to Terri today, she really likes you a whole lot, she really does, so you've got to talk to her today, before it's too late and school ends. Do you like her?"
T: (Smiling and walking away) "I might."
P:  "Tom, just tell me, do you or don't you? She really, really likes you a whole lot - she doesn't want to break up, but she wants to talk to you. She would talk to you herself, but she thinks you don't like her. She's been sick all day, thinking you hate her. Do you like her?"
T:  "I might."

Oooohhh!! If I only KNEW! If he does like me, he can come over in the summer, and we can go for long walks, and we can see each other ... beautiful dream! I love him, I love him, I love him.

There are certain "complications." For one, did you know that he was a Jehovah's Witness, with a pious and strict father (no girls, no parties, no 'fooling around,' no long hair, no abstaining from a rigid religious code)?? Oh dear. Also, why is he taking so LONG to make the first move? Why doesn't he DO something? What good is love if it's unrequited? TOM ... the time is NOW!! 

June 7, 1972

He likes me!!!!!!

He was absent this morning ... just about gave me a coronary upset. I was walking around, down in the dumps, really depressed because he was gone, when he suddenly showed up during 2nd period!! I was so happy and relieved. I guess he missed the bus or something. Anyway, during 3rd period, good ol' Amy talked to him, as usual, and she kept on telling him to talk to me "before it's too late." He kept on saying that he didn't want to talk to me, that he had nothing to say to me (boost my ego, boy). Finally, Amy persuaded him ("OK, I'll talk to her) and Amy said that she and Penny would leave so we could be alone together. That's what they did, all right. They abandoned me, and I was SO nervous! ("What on earth am I going to SAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?") With my heart in my mouth and nowhere to go, I headed for the library. I knew he was following me - I just had this feeling. Once in the library, I pretended to be very busy at the card catalog, looking up concentration camps don't you know, when I heard the librarian announcing, "Girls, the library is closed."  Oh great! Now what do I do?? I turn around and find myself face to face with Tom. The Moment of Truth.

"Do you want to talk to me?" I say.

"I don't care," says The Man of My Dreams.

We proceed to the cafeteria, where we finally have the little heart to heart, soul to soul talk that I had been counting on, with me doing most of the talking. I found out: A.) He doesn't hate me. B.) He still likes me. I actually asked him outright, "Do you like me?" Where I scraped up the raw nerve, I haven't the foggiest. He said yes, but the way he said it made me think something was amiss. I said, "But see, I don't know what to do, because you're going to Highline next year and when would I ever see you?" He said, "Well, there's the whole summer." I could have kissed him right then and there!!! I told him that he could come over to my new house any time. 

June 10, 1972

School got out yesterday - 3 whole months of freedom!  It seems like only yesterday that it was last summer, me -n- Pat, Kim -n- Phil.

Oh brother ... I was so worried about Tom not liking me - do you know what he wrote in my annual?? "I can't say anything except that I love you and I mean it - Tom." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He also sat by me on the bus home (I went home with Penny) and told me that he was planning on seeing me almost every day this summer.  Wonderful ... ?

I spent the night at Penny's house last night, and tonight Penny's staying here at my house. We went to the park, were following around these two guys, Blondie and Green Shirt (unobviously, of course, ha ha), and were being followed by this sickening little family quartet ("Gimme an F!") that just moved into the neighborhood, the Japaniers. 

June 11, 1972
Sunday

I went to Penny's church today - they were having a "birthday party for everyone," with this fantastically gorgeous cake - any cake that looked that good has just naturally got to TASTE good too, right? Wrong. The frosting tasted like toothpaste ... bleccch  ...

This afternoon Karen, Dick and I went to Evergreen Pool. Karen, me and these two really nice girls from Puget, Renae and Katie, were chasing around this fat, creepy girl (dunno her name). The Japaniers were there, too (wunnerful). 

June 12, 1972
Monday

Karen and I walked to the library, only to find it closed. I wanted to get a copy of The Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing "The Hallelujah Chorus" (LUV that song!) but since it was closed, I guess I'll have to go back tomorrow. I want to put it on the tape I'm making.

Karen made some crank calls on the extension phone, and then she called up Tom and told him to call me. He did! As usual, I carried the weight of the conversation, with an occasional animalistic grunt or guffaw from his end. The most intelligent thing he said was, "Today I mowed the lawn."

Went to Teen Scene (at church) at night - I'm on Team 1, and so far we're ahead with 1700 points!!! We played volleyball (we won, naturally). There's these two really cute guys on our team, Marty and Dale (what a tan!)  Dale is after (who else?) Cheryl and Thea, but Marty was giving me some pretty hefty glances. Maybe ... 

June 13, 1972
Tuesday

Sandy and I walked to the (Boulevard Park) library. I checked out: "To Teens With Love," "The Teddy Bear Habit," "No More Septembers," "Amalie's Story,"  and the June issue of Seventeen. Then we went to Mansfield's, where I had a cherry shake and some of Sandy's french fries. Tom called while I was gone, but he didn't call back.

Today I recorded some of my fave songs off of Sandy's Partridge Family album.

At Teen Scene tonight, we played (yuck) softball - I hit a triple!! Doug Mattson was there, and he was acting mighty friendly. He said he was coming over tomorrow morning. Did he? (Yes.) 

June 14, 1972
Wednesday

This was a rainy, dismal day. Dick, Junior Barnes (our dog) and I stayed home all morning, just goofing around. Doug was supposed to come over (he said to my brother yesterday, "Even though I'm going with Kim, I wouldn't mind having two girlfriends," with an evil gleam in his eye, and he seemed delighted when he found out that my Dad was going to be working all day) but I guess the rain stopped him.

Karen came over later in the afternoon, and her and Dick and me worked on a script for a tape recording. ("Dr. Melvin, Lavinia Lavielle L'Amour, King Cotton," etc.) until the Josephs arrived. Boy, were they dirty (minded) tonight!

At Teen Scene (Doug, Karen and I walked over together - Karen had stayed for dinner, and Doug came over and picked me up), we played soccer (we won!) and that's about all. Karen spent the night. She and I were making phone calls this afternoon ("Hello Dad, would you please come and pick us up?") Tom didn't call or come over or anything. TRAGEDY! 

June 15, 1972
Thursday

What a day ... Karen made more "calls," some of them turned out pretty good. Then, she (horror of horrors) called up Tom!  She told him that I was outside, and that she wanted him to call me, and that I wanted him to come over. He called, all right (we recorded the conversation) and he's going to Alaska for two months!!!! I'm sort of sad, sort of relieved. Then, when he announced he was coming over, I panicked. We fled to the park, goofed around on the swings, the merry go round, ran in the sprinklers, and joined in on Greg and Kevin's game until Tom joined us. Then we went to my house and fooled around till Dad came home, and Tom finally left.

Dad and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's house, picked up my stuff.

At night, after Teen Scene (we went bowling, yuck), I played mental tug of war. Larry, Marty, Kelly, Doug, Phil, Larry, Marty, Kelly, Doug, Phil ... but on the ride home I sat by Phil (Rehberg) so I guess that's who I like. I dunno. We'll see.

Monday
June 19th, 1972

I just got home from the retreat to Lilly Dell Dunes, and I have so much to tell!

First of all, at this exact moment   --  Monday, June 19th, 1972, at approximately 7:15 p.m.  -- I am madly, passionately in love with John Riley. (Sigh, beautiful name.)  He's an eighth grader, goes to Sunset and to my church, with long, shaggy blonde hair and fantastic big green eyes. 

I sat by Phil on the 4-1/2 hour trip down to Long Beach, Wa. (fell asleep on his shoulder), and as the result of my unintended attentions he now likes me. (So doth Douglas Mattson.)  I was in a cabin called "Seahorse" with Karen, Kathy Nelson, her cousin Patty Maher, Jeannie Somebody (Ryan's girlfriend), Belinda Sine, Kathy Smith and Kathi Wright as our counselor. I was on Team 1 - Rob Colvin and Kathy Wieker were our leaders, our team was me, Ryan, Kathy Nelson, Thea, Lora M., Jim Somebody, David Smith, Don S. and Doug.

Day 1 - After we arrived, we went wading in the ocean (got my jeans soaking wet). I was just standing on the beach, looking off into the sunset, when Marty, secret guy of my dreams at the moment, came up to me out of the clear blue sky and started talking to me. It turns out that I've admired him from afar, and vice versa. Beautiful!

Day 2 - My feelings (for Marty) waned somewhat. He seldom talked, and when he did, it was sports this and sports that. He reminded me SO MUCH of Tom, it wasn't funny. After team games and all that kind of stuff, we went to the jetty. Climbing over all those steep rocks in silence with Marty at my heels was no picnic, I can assure you, but the view was worth it. I decided that I didn't like him as a boyfriend, after all, and I told Karen so  ... and she went and TOLD him!  She thought she was doing me a favor, but I got so mad at her that by the time I was done fussing and fuming, the whole camp hated her. You should have seen Marty at dinner - he was really super crushed. He didn't eat a thing (we roasted hot dogs over the campfire) and he sat across the fire from me, his head in his hands. Thea, Lora and Cheryl - the "in" girls, HA HA - immediately jumped to my aid and together we waged a battle with Karen that lasted approximately three hours, when she and I made up at team games ("If ya love me honey, smile" - I chose John). Marty sat by me - apparently his little "conversation" with Karen hadn't proved effective. DRAT.

Day 3 - We had morning devotions, built sand castle forts against the tide, had a fun water fight, played basketball, and a zillion and one other things. Karen and I had another fight, this time because she's flirting with Marty like crazy. Sometimes she makes me sick. Had an evening campfire. I'm hanging around now with Judy, Marty's younger sister.

Day Four - This morning, after breakfast, washing dishes and cleaning up & packing, we left. We stopped off in town for 2 hours - Judy and I wandered around all over the place. I now like (adore) John, who used to be Karen's boyfriend, and Karen likes Marty, who used to be my boyfriend. Judy and me sat behind Phil and John all the way home on the bus, and we talked and had a good time. When we got to the church and were just waiting around for our parents to come, Karen told John that I liked him. According to her, he just sort of half-smiled and said, "Oh?" He didn't have a ride home, so we took him home (!!!!!) and on the way stopped off at the store. Him and me went in together, picked out a TV dinner.

LUV 'IM! PRAISE THE LORD!

(I've gotta be more of a lady, or so sayeth Mikie Lee, to show God that I'm worthy of womanhood. Also, can't do anything to stir up a guy's emotions ...) 

Tuesday
June 20, 1972

Slept in real late. Karen and I went to Jr. High Folk Singing Practice at 1:00, and then her, me, Judy and Colleen went swimming in the indoor pool at Glen Terrace. (Colleen and I are cousins! Just found that out today! Her last name is Naff.) It was raining and freezing, so Judy and I got out after a little while. Marty was there but he totally ignored me. Karen is madly in love with him, so naturally she just gushed all over the place. Sick.

Colleen, Judy and Karen spent the night at my house. We used the Ouija board, and my gawd, the thing worked. Scared me half to death.  (We asked it what color my toothbrush was, and it spelled out "B-L-U-E" -  all by itself. I haven't touched a Ouija board since.)  Judy and Marty's big brother, Vernon, is so cute. Oooooh! 

Wednesday
June 21, 1972 

We all went to Soutchcenter today for 3-4 hours. I took $6.25, and bought some skin cream, a 45 ("Immigration Man" by Crosby & Nash, my favorite!), a razor and a balloon. We had lunch at Farrell's, I had a banana split. Karen and Judy are obviously best friends now and it hurts.

Thursday
June 22, 1972 

Today I got a new kitten (boy? girl?) and I'm going to call her? him? Benjamin Beezalbaum, "Benji" for short. He's 3 months old, a mixture of grey and black and white, and at this exact moment, he's staggering all over my bedroom floor, drunk on catnip. Vernon, Marty and Judy (the kids I got him from) claim he's the smartest and most playful one of the litter. Karen and I walked up to Judy's to pick him out (long walk).  Karen, Judy, Moni, Valerie and me walked down to 7-11 and the library. Judy is friendlier towards me now than Karen. I saw Marty at Judy's house (he got a hair trim) and Karen went out of her way to prove to him what a super big crush she has on him. We looked at some pictures of the Griffin kids when they were little.

I sorta like Marty and/or Vernon, and Marty and me kept giving each other "The Looke." 

 

With my first kitty, "Benjamin Beezelbaum"
Summer 1972

 

Friday
June 23, 1972

Junior Barnes was poisoned today - we think he accidentally ate some kitty litter. He's real sick. (Later we realized that Junior wasn't poisoned after all - he had distemper. By the end of the summer he'd died from it.)

Sandy came over today. We made some crank calls, one to her Uncle Merlin, and called up John Sharick for about a half hour. I told her all about Marty and John and Judy and all the other major characters that have entered my life during the past week or so. Tom called twice, I hung up on him both times (he makes me soo-oo-oo sick). Then later Sandy called him up.

S: Hello, may I talk to Tom?
T: Yeah.
S: Tom, this is a friend of Terri's, and you know when you called this morning?
T: Yeah.
S: Well, I'm sorry I hung up on you, I thought you were somebody else.
T: That's OK.
S: Should I have her call you when she gets back?
T: Well ... (long pause) ... have her call me between 4:30 and 6:30, I ought to be home around then.
S: OK, she ought to be back by then. She's gone to the movies with John.
T: WHO'S JOHN?
S: Oh - a friend. Well, 'bye.  Oh my god we were so EVIL.

I got my bookcase and my sewing machine/desk (from Grandma and Grandpa's house), and after a lot of hard work my room finally looks like a room. 

Saturday
June 24, 1972

Karen and I walked/rode over to Judy's house - Judy got her ears pierced - and together we walked over the drug store, 7-11 and Mansfields to get some cotton and alcohol. At Mansfields I bought an ice cream cone, and we saw that horrible girl that Karen & me were bothering and picking fights with at Evergreen Pool.

We went to Judy's house, and Marty and Vernon were both there. Marty and I have been exchanging "the look" again ... hmmm, I wonder .... ? Karen claims she would hate me forever if I took Marty away from her, but still - I wish John would come home from Vancouver, then I could find out how he feels (about yo). 

Sunday
June 25, 1972

Early this morning I went to church and babysat in the nursery. It was sort of boring, and I went to 11 o'clock service with Karen and Cheryl Nyholm.  Karen and I wrote notes back and forth, mostly about Marty.

I spent the day at home for a change - I made up a list of some of the things I'll need for camp, two weeks from today. We watched "The Reluctant Astronaut" on TV.

When I went to evening services, Marty was there, and he sat between Karen and me. He sat so close to me, touching so much, that I was practically in his lap! We saw some home movies and slides of Explo '72, when Pat and Cathi Foote and some other people from our church went. Afterwards, Marty, Karen and me sat outside and talked and stuff, about school, teachers, past teachers, etc. He likes me, I can just tell, and so can Karen. Luckily she isn't too upset ...

Yah, I sorta like him, and it was pretty neat when he sat by me and all. 

Monday
June 26, 1972 

Today I went over to Judy's. Dad stayed home from work sick so he gave me a ride over to her house. We went down to the library, to Mansfields (I got a banana milk shake), to 7-11, the drugstore (I got a Rally candy bar) and to Southern Heights school. After we got tired of hanging around her house, watching The Newlywed Game and all, she and I walked down to my house. Dad was sleeping, so we stationed ourselves in my room, where we discovered a secret trap door in my closet. We meandered over to the park, swung on the swings, went around on the broken merry go round, and then sat on top of the dirt hill and just talked. I saw Marty at her house.

After she went home, she asked him who he likes, and he only likes Karen as a friend but me as a "lot more than a friend."

Colleen and I are planning a surprise party for Judy on Thursday.

Penny came home from Oklahoma today - good. Also, Laurie (Griffeth) paid me $3.00 for babysitting. Boy, can I use that money!! 

Tuesday
June 27, 1972 
Judy's 12th birthday

Today at 1:00 I went to Folk Singing Practice at the church (I saw Marci Boyd! haven't seen her since we were little kids, when her dad was my piano teacher!)  Marty was there, and Karen was as obnoxious around him as always, and I got so fed up that I told her that he likes me better than her, and that if she wanted him to like her, that she shouldn't be so gushy and everything around him.

At singing practice, Mr. Boyd is our leader and he is so weird now! We have this one new song and he wants us to whistle the ending! Oh brother ...

We gave Judy this really cute card for her birthday. After practice, we loaded up the van and went out to Alki Point, looked around the beach, and then went down to the waterfront. Karen, Colleen, Judy and I went to Ye Olde Curiousity Shoppe and Trident Imports. I was dying to talk to Marty, to ask him if he likes Karen. I know he would have said no, but it would've given me a chance to read between the lines and figure out how he felt about me and stuff.

After we got back I stopped off at Karen's house for a sec, had a Pepsi and talk. I read her journal (shocking!) and she showed me her Job's Daughter Gown.

The real good news was when Judy called tonight after dinner. Next Tuesday our church is going to the Fun Forest, and Judy and Marty have an aunt who works there & can get them free tickets for all the rides. Anyway, Judy overheard Marty talking to their mom, and he was trying to wangle an extra set of tickets, so that he could ask me to go on the rides with him. Hoo boy ... Karen is going to be furious!

Took pictures of Benji & the dogs.

 

Hanging out with Jasper (left) and Junior Barnes (right)
June 27, 1972

 

Wednesday
June 28, 1972

I got up super early this morning and took a shower and washed my hair. Karen came over about 11:00, we just hung around the house. Karen made a few more calls, and we layed outside in the sunshine until Penny dropped over. I'm afraid that she and Karen don't like each other all that much. Oh great.

We three went over to the park, sat on the picnic table with Lori Price (one of next year's cheerleaders) and watched a bunch of guys playing football. Karen stayed to dinner, and then we went to Bible Study. Marty was there but he totally ignored me, 'cept he sat right behind me on the floor when we were singing. Yah, I think I like him.

Today Karen gave me this note that said that I could "have Marty if I want him." Sure made me feel guilty. Spent the night at Karen's.

To like him or not to like him ... that is the question. Is it worth it to make a good friend sad by taking her potential boyfriend? I dunno. 

Thursday
June 29, 1972 

What an absolutely fantabulous day! Karen and I had a quickie breakfast, and then Dad came over and picked me up, took me over to the orthodontist's office for my appointment. Dr. Oliver took the bands off my six year molars, so now I don't have to wear rubber bands anymore and it really feels freaky!!

At 11:00 our church group went over to Lake Sammamish for a day of water skiing and swimming. The sun was shining, it was just beautiful, and we had a great time! Marty sat by me on the way over (fun). At first, we went for a swim (I wore Karen's yellow bikini) and then we just wandered over to watch the water skiers, ate our lunches and stuff. Judy and me rode in the boat three times, the last time when Marty was skiing. (Tom Horton: "Is he your GUY friend?") Then we swam for a little while more, and then watched the guys playing football. Marty sat by me on the way back, too - I amost went to sleep on his shoulder!! (Wouldn't that have been cute.) Karen flirted as usual but I don't care, and I don't blame her either. After all, she's a pretty good friend.

I got a sunburn!!! All over my back, face and arms. OUCH.

After swimming, Judy went home for dinner at Karen's house, and I went with Colleen. We swung by my house, picked out some records, then picked up Judy's birthday cake at Albertsons. After dinner and feeding the ducks in the pond, we walked over to Judy's and threw her surprise party. Actually, the party itself was a total flop. The girls, all potential 7th graders, wanted to do the dumbest things, like having a dance contest.  Marty and Vernon "hid" in their room the entire party. However ... for the last 1-1/2 hr. or so, Marty, me -n- Karen sat around and talked while the kids played outside. Boy, was that fun!! I never knew Marty could talk that much! Him and I sat on the couch together, Karen sat in a a chair. I called Dad at about 10:45 to come pick me up (he was a little upset) and before he came, Marty goes, "Ya want to go outside and wait for him?" I know that he would have done something (!!!) but just then Dad pulled up.

Dick was babysitting next door for David & Jody, so I went over and kept him company for a while.

The End (of a beautiful day)! 

Friday
June 30, 1972

Today, for the first day of this entire summer vacation, I sort of took a "breather." After puttering around the house all morning, doing my housework, I donned a pair of hotpants and the shirt Uncle Dick gave me for Christmas and went outside - tried to tan my legs. I also made a collage of Camp Firwood - oh so creative.

Karen came over later this afternoon, we just talked and stuff. She tried to get hold of Marty on the phone, to finish a little conversation they'd had after I left last night that was interrupted when her mom came and picked her up, but he wasn't home. It seems that he (quote) "feels like an ass" whenever he talks to me, and sort of gets the impression that I don't like him. The thing is, I don't KNOW if I do or not ... I'm just sort of waiting to find out how John Riley feels and all.

Dad, Dick and I went shopping. I got a pair of flare-legged jeans, and an absolutely darling blue- checked smock, plus a bunch of other stuff for camp. 

July 1, 1972

Today Colleen and her dad (my dad's cousin Bob) came and picked me up, and we went swimming in the pool at her apartment. I had lunch there - raw hamburgers and about a zillion Bugles and some ginger ale. We sunbathed, walked down to the store, and then about 3:00 we walked over to my house.

At 5:00 we took her home, went over to pick up Karen. She's spending the night.

Karen talked to Marty on the phone - he definately likes me, seemed obviously relieved that I was going to the Fun Forest, and promised to come to church tomorrow morning. 

July 2, 1972

This has got to be a candidate for best day of the summer, even though it started out absolutely lousy. Actually, to be more specific, it should be a candidate for best evening of the summer. The evening brought deliriously happy news!

Karen and I got up real super early and got all fancied up for church. Dad drove us over, and we went to Sunday School and church. Marty wasn't there!  (But Kim Houk Gilbert was. It was great to see her: I've really missed her since she and her family moved.)  Becki Pozzi's brother Clint and Sue Yhe, a candidate for Miss Burien I think, played and sang for us. After church Dad, Dick and I went and had a hamburger and Coke at Arctic Circle, and then we went car shopping. We're pretty sure that we're going to get this real cool Vega Coupe.

Then we went and spent a couple of hours at Grandma and Grandpa's. (Donny Dorris died, Gillie's married and pregnant, Linda's pregnant again.)

I was all set to go to evening service tonight, to see my "beloved" Marty, when Karen called up and said that he had just called her. He couldn't go to church that night, and he wanted to know if Karen had talked to me and found out whether I liked him or not yet. She told him that she didn't know whether or not I like him. Good girl, Karen! Keep him in suspense!  Well, anyway, I got all depressed and everything, and told her that I wasn't going to go to church at all. I was VERY downcast and in an extremely bitchy mood. When, low and behold, Karen called me from the church - and told me Marty was there! I got ready for church so fast you wouldn't believe it! Dad rushed me right over. We had a sit-down sharing service, and I sat on the floor between Marty and Karen (natch). We sang a lot of songs, shared testimonies, and during this one prayer we had to hold hands with the people next to us!!!!!! I almost died!! Dad didn't come pick us up until 45 minutes after the service.

After Marty and Lori left, Karen used the office phone and called up Marty, pretending she was home and that I wasn't there. They talked for about 10 minutes, and believe me they had one whopper of a conversation!! Here is the gist of what they said: He likes me as a girlfriend, and he's going to ask me to go with him, as soon as he can buy a ring - and he's planning on spending at least $30.00 on it!!!!! He doesn't know when he's going to ask me, but it may be on Wednesday when we go to the Fun Forest. He's planning on taking me on all the rides, but we told him I may not be able to go, just to give him a little scare. (But I'm pretty sure I'll go.)  Karen explained to him that I'm a Christian, and that I don't like it when guys try to impress me by showing how "cool" they are (smoking, drinking, taking dope, etc.), using Tom as an example. She told him that I like him as a boyfriend ("That's cool," he said) and that I "thought he was real sweet." One time he said, "Well, when school starts I won't ever see her" (because he'll be going to Glendale and I'll be going to Sunset). Karen told him that he should start coming to all the church stuff, and that he could come over to my house enny ol' tyme. 

Monday
July 3, 1972

Karen came over early this morning (naturally). I finished up a HUGE pile of dishes, then washed my hair and we laid outside and sunbathed. We were waiting for KOL to play this one song, "We Gotta Live For The Sun" by The Sun Rays, so that we could record it, but they never did. 

John Sharrick and Doug Matson came over, so did Joleen Johnson.  Karen and I sat out in the front yard, playing the guitar and sketching. Marty called.

Karen called John  - he's back in town!!! 

Tuesday
July 4, 1972

What a terrific day! I went with Karen to the J.C. Penney's Picnic - a whole day of swimming, picnicking and sunbathing at Lake Surprise! There were about a zillion people there, and Karen and I met this really super sweet guy, Rick Phenis  - (super cute, too). He acted really friendly towards me. Him, Karen and I really had a blast on the intertubes. At the end, we gave him our phone numbers, and he's going to call me at 1:00 on Thursday. 

Wednesday
July 5, 1972

This afternoon at about 1:00 I went to Jr. High Choir Practice (I was half an hour late), and then we went to the Seattle Center and the Fun Forest. Colleen, Karen, Marty, John (!!!) and me hung around together. We went to the Spook House in the Food Circus, went around to some games, spin-painted, and went on some rides. I went on the Matterhorn twice, once with Marty and again with John. (I enjoyed being with John more.) Marty held my hand on the ride - what could I do??? He did it again on the way home. But, at evening Bible Study, he totally ignored me. (I was in John's group with Phil, Colleen and Joe Gant.)

(Phil likes me: his brother Ryan told me so.)

Karen says that Marty is mad because he wants to get me alone, but Colleen's always hanging around. Tough. Besides, I'm not even sure I like him!!! Colleen spent the night tonight. 

Thursday
July 6, 1972

Today Rick (the boy from the J.C. Penney's picnic) called!!  We made a date to meet at Southcenter tomorrow afternoon. He is so sweet! Karen and me tape-recorded the conversation.

Marty came over at 2:00 and stayed for THREE HOURS. We were going to go swimming at Lake Terrace, but thank goodness I got out of that one. He sat on the couch with Karen (ha! ha!) and I sat on the chair. We just talked, but just before he left he goes, "Can I talk to ya?" I was so scared - I thought he was going to ask me to go with him or something, or make some sort of "move" that would be completely undesired. Do you know what happened????? He says, "Well, all I wanted to say was, I won't see you until you go to camp, and I hope you have fun." !!!!!! 

We got our new car today! A gorgeous, BRAND NEW, lime green Vega Coupe. Dad took Karen, Dick and me to dinner at Vince's, where we ordered four super huge pizzas. Then we went to see Grandma and Grandpa for a while, and Karen spent the night.

I got really sick tonight - headache, sore throat, dizziness, fever - I think I have the flu. Great.

 

 Dad's Vega
(and poor doomed little Junior Barnes)
July 1972

 

July 7, 1972 
Friday

I felt a little better today. My soprano recorder came from Sears today!! Hooray! Rick called up, said he couldn't go to Southcenter, so Karen and I went shopping in Burien instead. I took $25.00 with me  - bought three shirts, a record ("Rocket Man" by Elton John, luv that song!), some blusher, and some Nair. Karen and I got our pictures taken in one of those little boothie-deals. We saw Cheryl Nyholm at GovMart Baza'ar. Mom and Debbie Jeanne came over for a while.

I feel slightly worse.

GONE FOR TWO WEEKS TO CAMP FIRWOOD, JULY 9-21

 

Me at Camp Firwood, July 1972
Age 14

 

 

July 27, 1972

One week ago tonight ... that's all I can think about. I was at camp, at our final campfire, sitting between Kerry and George, "touched and touching" ... oh, it was beautiful  ...

Mine life luven: Marty now likes Karen, who is in Arizona for several weeks. Rick likes me, and we have a "date" for this Saturday night. I saw John Riley last night at church, not sure what's going on there. Kerry asked me to go with him in his last letter. George just wrote me a "love letter" a couple days ago ... sweet. I haven't heard from Clancy yet, and I expect a letter from Tusk in the next couple of days. I haven't gotten around to writing to Mark yet.

I got my ears pierced two days ago - it cost $5.78, and I got them done at Jorstad's. I couldn't believe how quick and painless it was - it took less than two minutes!

Letters from a couple of my camp boyfriends:

"Dear Terri,

I got your letter and I'm going to answer your questions first. First of all I am not mad at you for anything. The next thing is your
age doesn't bug me and don't let it bug you. And when you were holding hands with George didn't make me mad. Oh I almost forgot, I miss you too and can hardly wait until you come back. The first time I saw you I didn't like you because I thought that you wouldn't have any interest in a guy like me. I'm glad you like me, because as soon as I saw any chance of taking you to the Banquet I was the happiest guy in our cabin. 

I want to explain something to you - I've had a few girlfriends with good looks and a few with a good personality, but you have both and that's why I like you so much. Terri I don't want you to think I'm mad at you. I was just jealous because I know a lot of boys that would like to have a girlfriend like you, and I'm lucky I do. I might as well ask you now, do you want to go with me? Answer in your next letter. 

I am dishwashing now and hope to buy an O'Brien water ski. 

Well, I have to go and mail this now so I can get it to you.

Love,

Kerry"

 

 

George Wood
4311 McKee Place
Burnaby 1, B.C. Canada

Dear Terri,

Remember the note you gave what you said I have the same to say about you but I did not think you felt that way about me but only if I could get to know you better.

Love always,

George

P.S. Please pray for me I am praying for you

 

 

And a letter from my best friend Karen, while she was visiting family in Arizona:

July 21, 1972
Tempe, Arizona

(Tell your sweet baby brother "hi" for me. And please don't tell your dad about this letter and don't let anyone else read it please)

Dear Terri,

I take it you lost my uncle's address. Well, you will have gotten this after you get home.

Terri, you're gonna hate me when I tell you this, but I got Marty. Let me start from the beginning. Well, the Wednesday night after you left for camp, Marty was being a little nicer to me than he usually does. First, when I got there no Jr. Hi (kids) had gotten there yet. Then I saw Judy and Marty drive up. Judy brought Wendy with her. She (Wendy) was at Judy's suprise birthday party. Oh, and by the way, there were only eleven people at church that night, because everyone was on the Bus Caravan. It started out to be only eight people there, Judy, Wendy, me and some other girl, Mark, David, Marty and some other guy. Then the Grovers came. Well, I went and sat down by Judy, and Marty came down and sat by me. I didn't think anything about it. Then Pat Foote, who was directing us, put me in a group with Mark, David, Marty and the other guy. All boys but me. But do you think I minded? Answer that one yourself. Ha ha ha. After Bible Study I went out on the balcony of the church, and guess who came up behind me - good ol' Marty.

Well, boy am I bored. Nothin' to do but swim, and believe me that gets a little tiring after a while.

BACK TO THE SUBJECT (ha ha, scared ya didn't I). We talked from 8:30- 9:00, then guess who walked me 3/4 of the way home? Marty. Every time I think about that night I get mad because guess who had her hands in her jacket pockets all the way home! Well, that Thursday following I found out we were leaving Saturday morning (for Arizona) at 4:10 a.m. ICK. I hated the idea. Friday I called up everyone and told them the good news that I was leaving. The last people I called were Marty and Judy. Well, I was talking to Marty and told him I was going to 7-Eleven to get a Slurpee and he said he would probably meet me down there. When I saw him, I thought to myself, "What in the world am I gonna do??" I was scared!! Luckily I had my Slurpee in one hand and my hard candy in the other hand or he would have had one of them (my hands). You know that short cut that we take from 7-Eleven to Judy & Marty's house? He wanted to up there and sit in the shade. So we went up that road and found some shade and sat down in it. I'll tell you about the rest later.

How did things go at camp? I'll tell you what I've been doing ... swimming, swimming, swimming! That's not all, but most of the time I'm (you guessed it) swimming, and I'm getting darker day by day. I got a new swimsuit and the bottoms have two holes on each side, and when I don't have my bottoms on you can tell where the two holes are on my body. I'll show you when I get home.

To save you dying from not knowing, I'll finish. Marty moved closer and closer to me, till before I knew it he had his arm around me. Please don't be mad. I amost shitted in my pants when I felt his arm around me. But Iliked the feeling. (Forgive my words.) I really hope you're not mad, but this is why I don't want anyone else to read it. And please don't tell your brother about it, please.

Terri, I feel like crying because I haven't even been here a week yet and I want to come home. There's no one around here my age and I'm lonely for you. I could call you up, and I'm gonna try and talk my mom into letting me, because I've had 2 babysitting jobs already and I brought $8.00 with me, and from babysitting I've got exactly $11.50. I think that's enough to call you with. I might even call Marty if I could. But I'm dying to hear an old voice. But I could only talk for about 5 or 10 minutes, so I don't know if it would be worth it or not. It might be too much trouble trying to get a hold of you. If I've just hurt your feelings I'm really sorry. I just want to come home! All I have things to do with are Johnny (8) and Janna (6) and they are both spoiled children. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Cry or what. But the thing I'm really worried about is if Marty started liking you again, because he told me he wasn't going to ask you to go with him. Ask me about this when I come home. And don't forget to ask about the rash all over my thighs, face, arms, back and the top of my chest, which looks like big yellow, sore, red pimples. My face looks like I'm a leper. It's awful and itches like crazy. Gotta quit writing before this letter becomes a 25 cent letter.

Love in Christ and love from me always,

Karen

P.S. Don't start liking Marty again please. I'm sorry if you do. Really I am.

 

It always took me a while to get over feeling 'campsick' whenever I came home from Firwood: I would be on a weird spiritual high for weeks afterward.

July 30, 1972

Geez, I'm so campsick I just can't stand it ... I long for the fellowship and love that was so genuine and pure there, for the beautiful people that I grew to love so deeply ... life here seems so crude and unreal. I am an unwilling prisoner of the plastic society, where only the artificial and the ugly can survive. I want to break out ... get away, start all over again. I miss Tusk most of all, I think, and Kerry and Clancy too. They were like brothers, because we all loved one another and shared the promise of eternal life in Christ. It was absolutely beautiful, and leaving it all was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. People yelling, swearing, car exhaust, T.V. commercials, loud music, anger, bad feelings, teasing, invasion of privacy  ...  it all piles up until I could just scream. I've got to get away from it all!!!!!! The frustration of trying to cope in an un-Christianlike atmosphere is more than I can bear, and I know I'm going to break any minute now. Where can I find a refuge?? An escape, any place where I can get away from all this? Why is the world like this????




Monday
August 1, 1972

Kerry hasn't written yet - neither has Tusk. Hmmm. I sure hope nothing is wrong between us. Tusk means an awful lot to me, as more than a brother or a good friend. I know I love him, but I wonder how much. He's 22, but he told me during one of our long, fantastic talks, that he considered me to be so much more mature than the other girl campers, so level-headed and "together." He said that he didn't understand why he was so concerned with me, and why he felt so close to me, and that he "felt like a dirty old man" just knowing me. In my autograph book he wrote:

"Dear Terri -

I've always hated writing in these little books because I didn't know what to say - but this particular time I've got too MUCH to say. Sometimes it bothers me that I should be so concerned about you, because I feel like a dirty old man, but it seems as though maybe I've gained another sister. Terri, I never really took the time to get to know any of my real sisters very well - and least of all did I ever learn to let the Lord love through me ... I just want you to know that I care - that I want you to feel that I'll always be around somewhere to care, that He loves you and loves you also through me.

In Him,
Tusk."

Thursday
August 10, 1972

I still haven't gotten a letter from Tusk, and to tell you the truth I'm a little hurt and a lot worried. A thousand and one "What ifs?" keep pounding into my brain. It's hard to tell how I feel about him ... he's so elusive. He's the most wonderful person I've ever met (outside of Jesus!) and I'd hate for whatever there was between us to die.

Anyway, today our church group is going to Lake Sammamish again for the day.  I think John Riley is going, but I don't really care. He came over yesterday, and he, Karen and I went to the library. Wooppee. It was an absolute DRAG. The night before yesterday, Karen and I were having a water fight and washing Dad's car, and John rode by on his bike. He came by and joined us - I must admit, THAT was kinda fun.

Later:

Boy, did I have fun!! John acts like he likes me - good. There's this kid, an extremely obnoxious 7th grader named Brian Watkins, who likes me now. Terrific. Karen thinks he's the most. 

August 13, 1972

Oh happy day!!!!! John likes me! It's definate, definate, definate! Oh fantastic!!! I just cannot believe it!   I definately hadn't learned how to spell the word "definite" yet.

This is how it all happened: This morning I went to Sunday School (I wore my blue skooter skirt, my white blouse and sailboat shrink, my "coffeebean brown" nylons and my white shoes) and both John and Brian were there. They sat across the room from me. Brian kept looking at me and saying stuff like, "God, she's cute!" and "I'm in love." I was so embarrassed! Every time he said or did something stupid (every few seconds), I could feel John looking at me, and we'd exchange that meaningful, "isn't- he-a-dumb-little-child" look. I mean it, John kept looking at me! What a trip! 

Well. By the time evening service rolled around, I was sure of who I liked. It was a choice between Marty, Kerry, George, Clancy, John, Mark or Brian, and guess who won? John, by a landslide. Karen and I were babysitting in the nursery, and I was so upset, because I didn't think he liked me. I was so miserable that at last Karen called him up. Their conversation is classic, and I'll cherish it always. I've recopied it, word for word:

Conversation #1

K: ... This is Karen. Uh, John, I've got a personal question to ask you, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to.
J: (Silence)
K: Do you like Terri?
J: Does she like me?
K: Yeah.
J: Yeah.
K: As more than just a friend?
J: Does she like me as more than just a friend?
K: I don't know.
SILENCE
K: Well, would you like her as more than a friend?
J: (Pause) I don't know ... I guess so.

That is the gist of the conversation. I was ecstatic, and in a state of pure shock. I told Karen, "Yes yes yes yes YES YESS!! I like him as more than a friend!!" Sooo ... Karen called him back up!

Conversation #2

K: Hello, John?
J: Yeah. K: Um, this is Karen, and I just called up Terri and asked her if she likes you as more than a friend.
J: (Silence) K: Well, she said yes, so, do you like her?
J: (with absolutely no hesitation) Yah.
K: More than a friend?
J: Yah.
K: OK, that's all I wanted to know.

Gushy Poetry Section!

My John is such a boy so sweet,
No finer guy you'd want to meet.
With golden hair and angel eyes
He knows just how to captivize
My heart, my soul, my very life -
And I would gladly be his wife.

Oh, sick. Terri, that is TERRIBLE. Boy, you really are lovesick, aren't you? 

August 16, 1972
9:00 p.m.

Oh boy. I really need to let off a lot of steam ... immediately. I'm so frustrated and semi-depressed that I can't even think straight. This could have been a really terrific evening, and it SHOULD have been. I went to evening Bible Study, John was there, and the promises of things to come were great. I felt good, I looked good. So what happens? John totally, completely ignores me!  I mean it: he didn't say one word to me all night. I never even saw him LOOKING at me, for Pete's sake!!! The one and only consolation that I have is that during singing, he sat by me  --  if you can call it that, that is. He sat on the end of the pew and I sat on the floor beside him, and when Steve Grover told him to "scoot down, Riley, so I can sit down," he absolutely refused to budge. Good! But still ...

Here I am in love with the guy, for crying out loud, and we pretend like we don't even know each other. Honestly.

Of course it isn't all his fault. There were several opportunities where I could have talked to him or something - like when I could have sat by him during singing. The only thing is, I don't want to be too pushy and scare him off! But I don't want to lose him, either, the same way I lost Kenny, Brian, Ken B., Marty, etc. etc., by being too quiet and shy and afraid. What can I do??? 

August 20, 1972

John wasn't at Sunday School this morning (neither was Brian) and it was very frustrating.

My worries now:

1. Overdue library books
2. No money from babysitting
3. The retreat
4. My complexion 
5. My braces

I wish I had:

The hair of Cheryl Nyholm
The eyes of Kimberly Gilbert
The nose & figure of Lori Nelson
The smile of Kathy Smith
The complexion of Thea Emery
The clothes of Kim Hankins
The personality of Phloogle
The popularity of Kathy Hanks
The spirituality & laugh of Kathy Nelson
The brains of Sandi Mecham

HOWEVER ... I am very content with what God has given me, and I just want to praise His name for making me as lucky as I am. 

August 22, 1972

SHIT!!! Pardon the profanity, but that's how I feel. Like a stupid idiot, I went and chopped off my hair into layers, Miss Know-It-All of 1972, and it looks absolutely horrible. Why, why, WHY couldn't I have left well enough alone????? My hair was beautiful the way it was, finally one length after growing out of that pukey shag, and it was really neat. It was looking a little wild this evening, I must admit, but what could you expect after just being drenched in that filthy Angle Lake water? So did I just leave it alone and reason that it probably would look better in the morning? NO. I go off on some wild whim instead, grab the scissors and start shearing away. And boy, did I make one big mess of it ... one side is shorter than the other, and it's HORRIBLE. Sob, sob, I feel so rotten it's unbelievable. I hate myself when I do stuff like this.

I'm going to go take another quick look at it in the bathroom mirror and see how it looks.

A moment later: after taking a second look and thinking it over, it really isn't that bad. I think that a good night's sleep will help me get over it. HOWEVER: If I had it to do over again, I would have asked God's will first.  God, of course, is vitally interested in whether or not Terri Vert cuts her hair in an adorable shag.  (We should probably remember to check with Him before we have that bikini wax, too.)

Terri -n- John = Love 4/ever

August 24, 1972

Ick, ick, ick. In 12 days, poor little ol' me has got to discard my summer clothes, say goodbye to sleeping in late, going barefoot and golden summer days, and trudge back to dull, dreary school. I DON"T WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL AT ALL. This was the best summer of my life, and I'll cry when it's over. That's funny ... I cried when school ended and summer started, and now I'll cry when summer's over and school starts. Hmmm ... life sure takes some bizarre twists.

I cannot wait for the retreat!  John, Marty, Brian, Karen, Dan K., lots of kids are going. Fun, fun. I can't wait to go "home" to Camp Firwood, to see my tree and my bunk and my note and all those beloved little things that I adore ... 

August 28, 1972

I am very confused and very unhappy. Right now it's about 10:30 or maybe 11:00 in the morning on a Monday. I'm back at my beloved Camp Firwood again, on a church retreat. I'm sitting on the steps of good ol' Cabin 7 - I can hear the swimmers below me, splashing and screaming and having a good time. It's a nice, sunny, warm day, and I feel at home.

BUT - I like John a LOT. That is definate to me now. The question: Does he like me or now? And if so, why does it seem like he's avoiding me? Sad, sad.

Ken (Robbins) invited me to go sailing this afternoon ...  how fun.  

Karen (and I) have been growing apart somehow lately. She's more interested in material things, I guess (classic example: a TAN), while I'm trying to straighten my head around as to my spiritual growth. There's a lot of things that have happened this summer that I haven't told her about yet ... she wouldn't understand. Anyhow, despite her shortcomings, she's a terrific person (where does she get all her energy?) and if anything happened to her I'd die. If only she could get her sense of values straightened around ... there's so many things that seem so important to her that in actuality are very trivial. She doesn't know how much I pray for her ...  We fight a lot, and I hate it. If only she could learn ... but she has a lot she could teach me, I think, like

(interrupted)

Later:

Things with John are just fine. However, that's not what I've been thinking about. I wonder - am I putting too much emphasis myself on what I proclaim to be "the trivial," i.e. material, earthly things that are really of no heavenly value? Do I use my relationships with people for my own advantage, to gain status? Hmmm ... for instance, do I like John because of what he is inside, as a fellow Christian, or because he's cute and it's the "in" thing to have a boyfriend? I wish I knew for sure.

Karen's really messed up in that area. Just last night she said, "I wish I had a boyfriend." Wow! Is that ever the wrong attitude! Tusk would have conniption fits if he ever heard that one! She's lumping all guys together, seeing boys as possibilities instead of as people. I think I felt that way a while back, when the most important thing in the world was to have boyfriends and popularity (sixth grade, remember?). Anyway, poor Karen. She means so much to me and I'm sure a lot of other people, but she, as Tusk would say, "doesn't have her head straightened around." What's happening to Karen and I? We just don't get along at all anymore ... we disagree all the time, and lately she's been cordial but very COLD towards me. I guess what it boils down to is she's people-hungry  --  she must have admiration and acceptance to survive (or so it seems) and I simply don't.

I was a pretty sanctimonious little priss, wasn't I? 

Song I wrote:

TELL ME WHY, LORD

Tell me why, Lord
Why I'm here
Tell me why, Lord
The meaning ain't clear
When I feel that life is just a total loss
Did you waste your time dyin' on the cross?
Tell me why.
When you came to earth did you feel the pain?
Did you feel the emptiness that sadness brings?
Tell me true, Lord, 'cause I'm dying to know
Tell me, 'cause that's why I sing
Tell me why, Lord
Why I'm here
Tell me why, Lord
The meaning ain't clear
Will you really save, or is that just a story?
Do you really have all love and grace and glory?
Tell me why.
Can you hear me now, while I'm standing here
Or am I talking to an empty sky?
Give me truth, Lord, 'cause I'm crying to know
Tell me, 'cause that's why I sing
Tell me why ... 

Tuesday
August 19, 1972 7:30 p.m.

Exactly one week before school.

We came back from the retreat at about 6:00 tonight. It was a fantastic retreat, really - I had a terrific time. At lunchtime, Kenny, Jerry, Phil, Colleen, Brian and me sat down at the usual table, and John was standing towards the end of the line with Mike Baxter. Kenny and I made a twenty five cent bet  -- I said that John would not sit at the empty space beside me, that he'd be too shy, and Kenny said that he would sit down next to me. So what does Kenny do??? He goes up to John, who was still in line (waiting for the cooks to heat up some soup) and TOLD him to sit by me so he could win the bet!  Yah, he sat there all right, but it was slightly embarrassing.

But the REAL embarrassing part was after the frog races and the water free-for-all, when we'd hiked up that huge hill with our luggage and stuff. Colleen, Brian and I got there first, and we went into the bus to get good seats. I sat down in a seat by myself towards the back, hopefully saving it for John, and Ken, Colleen, Jim and Brian all sat around me. When John finally came onto the bus, they all practically jumped on him. "Oooooh Riley, sit here by Terri!" "She doesn't mind your chipped tooth!" "She wants you!" "Ah, c'mon Riley, get it on!" etc. etc. He was so embarrassed, it was terrible  --  he just stood there in the aisle, smiling and getting all red and stuff, and I was just dying. Finally he went and sat by Phil. DARN! DRAT!!!!! I was so mad! I went up and knelt by him for a second and said "Are you mad?" He said "No."  Well, I went back to my seat and just sat there, glaring out the window and practically crying. Brian saw me and he announced, "Hey Riley, she's mad." After a while John came over and said "Terri?"

"Yah?"

"Do you want me to sit by you?"

He sat by me all the way home, and although he didn't touch me at all, we really had some good talks. He's really super sweet and I'm really crazy about him. Praise the Lord!

Terri -n- John
John -n- Terri 

Wednesday 10:00 p.m.
August 30, 1972

WOW! What an absolutely terrific evening I had!!

Today wasn't too bad, either. Karen came over and spent the day (natch). We sang most of the time - especially "Tell Me Why, Lord," the song that I wrote. We just plain goofed around. In the late afternoon, Karen called up John and he said that he wouldn't be going to Bible Study tonight. I was all downcast and depressed, and I decided that I wouldn't go either. Boy, would that have been a mistake! Well, I decided to go after all. I got there at 6:00, and 11 people from our winning team, Team #2 (Agapae) went to Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor (including Phil and Peggy). It wasn't all that great - we were all stone silent on the way over - we got back to the church at 7:15. Bible Study had already started, so we all went into Rob's group in the sanctuary. It was really fun - I was in a terrific mood, and we had some neat kids in our group - Karen, Shaggy, Jim Abel, Betty and Peggy Tate - and we got to talking about the retreat and stuff. (Remember writing an "X" on Jim Abel's neck?) After Bible work, we had a Bible drill until the rest of the kids came in. Ken and Brian were there. We sang a bunch of songs, and I was really high-spirited and bouncy, and Ken just kept looking at me and stuff. When it was time for prayer requests, I told them about Dick, saying he was "my friend" (Remember saying to Ryan, "Oh, you're cute," and everyone going "Oooooohhh!") and about Elaine, my relative who died recently. Afterwards I talked to Jim and Kenny, told them about Dick - and they're going to come over tomorrow and talk to him. Yay!!

When I was getting a ride home with the Tates, Peggy goes, "Everyone says that Kenny likes you." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

August 31, 1972

It's late afternoon, and I'm sitting outside with the menagerie, leaning against the house.

Oh dear, dear, dear - I'm in love, and it's so perplexing. The lucky (?) guy is John Riley (of course), but the sticky part is that I never see him, and when I do, he never "does" anything (if you know what I mean). And it's beginning to worry me. I mean, well, I know the kid is shy and all, but isn't this a little on the abnormal side? He never shows any signs of affection, except occasionally sitting by me (when my friends pressure him into it) and doing an awful lot of staring. Yah, he looks at me a lot - whoopee. He never touches me, and it bugs me. Sometimes, I'll be sitting by him or something, and the urge for him to touch me will be so overpowering that I'll practically have to sit on my hands to keep from reaching over and doing it for him. Horrible. Maybe when school starts I'll see him more (hope, hope). There's about a 1 in a million chance that I'll get him in my T.A. class, but I must confess that's been my little hope all summer. But, it's extremely doubtful. All things considered, it took a 1 in a million chance for John and I to even get together in the first place! He's a year younger than me, and he runs around with a different crowd. However (Lori P., Kelly C. and Anita S. just walked past my house carrying their new cheer uniforms) now that he and I have gotten together, it's really neat.

I first started liking him on June 16, 1972, on the ride over to Lilly Dell Dunes. I sat by Phil that day, and across the aisle and one up were John and Karen. It hit me then - it was just that quick. I told Karen, and kept nonchalently going over there to "talk" to Karen. I even wore John's jacket part way home! Anyhow, that's how it all started.

Things I've still got to get (for school):

Black skirt
Black bobbysox
White tennis shoes
3 peechees
paper
red cords
red tank top
shoes

I don't want to go back to school at all. Summer has been an absolute blast, the Number #1 best summer of my fourteen years, and going back to school is like returning to slavery. ICK. I've still got to get that idiotic black skirt for Pep Club, and I haven't got the faintest idea where I'm going to get it. 

Ode To Summyre '72

Hail and farewell,
All that I've known and loved!
The time has come,
And I'm so afraid to
Say goodbye.
How can I tell you?
Simply saying "It's been fun"
Won't do.
No, somehow I must show you
How much you've meant to me.
You brought me so much,
So many,
And all is cherished.
Camp Firwood,
Martyjohnrickkerrygeorgetusk,
Endless carefree days of
Sunshine and laughter and
Being in love.
I'll cry, for sure,
But yet I wonder ...
With each tear and each beloved memory,
You will grow ever
Closer.
Remember me -
Hail and farewell.

(And this was BEFORE I started taking drugs.)

 
"I'd still be asleep if I didn't wake up anyway." Ted Baxter 

Friday
September 1, 1972

Today, early in the morning, I went over to Cindy Abel's house. She is really sweet, you wouldn't believe it! She just got back from a drug rehabilitation center, now she's living with her sister Julie, brothers Jim, Buddy and Billy, and we're really getting to be good friends. Anyway, we went to a 2-hour meeting at the church, for all the young people who were interested in making this forthcoming school year really worthwhile, and it was terrific. Tom Horton directed it, and we really had a lot of good suggestions. After the meeting I went to my cousin (? ... her mother, Alice Bierce, is Dad's cousin) Elaine's funeral. It was really beautiful. Brian Watkins was there, and he and I had a really neat talk. He's pretty sweet. After that, I went back to Cindy's, changed clothes, and then she and I went to Southcenter for a while. I bought some black bobby sox for Pep Club, and a little tiny card with owls on it that I'm going to send to Kerry. 

Saturday
September 2, 1972

Today I accidentally fell through a glass window and cut my shoulder rather badly. As a result, I had to be taken to the hospital and have several stitches. It all happened this way: Dick, Karen and me were home alone. Dick and I were having an argument: I said something about him being caught shoplifting last week. He got really mad and charged at me with the mop. I was sitting on the couch, and, thinking I was about to get beaten to a pulp, screamed and fell backwards into the window. I didn't even know I'd been hurt or cut or anything until I heard and saw shattered glass and saw the blood. I was so completely calm, I couldn't believe it - Karen went to get a towel, Dick went to get Jody (our neighbor). I was so calm! Everyone else was practically in hysterics. Karen and I prayed, and I felt real peace. Jody took me over to Riverton General, then Dad came later.

Right now I'm all bandaged up and feel like a mummy. It doesn't hurt - yet. I've got a bunch of stitches.

The neat-o cool-o thing was that John called tonight! Love 'im!

Karen's spending zee night. 

This is the end of summer, '72 ... the memory will live forever.

 

 

For more "adventures,"
be sure and pick up a copy of:
Ledger 4, "9th Grade"
Ledger 5, "Interlude"
Ledger 6, "Something's Comin' ..." (Summer 73)
at a local bookstore near you.

 

 

was it? will it be? ever again? faded memories, touched and touching, parted, and yet never parted from me ...
images of yesterday, fleeting fast and gone with the summer breeze, sights and sounds of what was, and what will never again be ...
shadows from the night, reaching out, calling over and over and over ...
remember ...
remember ...
remember ...
what shall be? what shall we face when we open the door, when reality finds the key that opens our hearts to sadness and despair? can we find our refuge? will there be a way back home? the laughter, the tears, shared on endless carefree summer days of idle youth ...

For *maximum effect* you're supposed to read this while listening to Judy Collins' "Nightingale 2" (from "Whales & Nightingales")

 

 

Note scribbled at bottom of the page:

"Terri, I'll have to agree, this is the best summer yet. God bless!  Karen."

 

Note scribbled at the top of the journal page in my Dad's handwriting: "This is the end of nothing!  Rober J. Veret.")

 

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